Thursday, April 7, 2011

I'm So Tired...

My dad isn't well.

And I have been so busy taking care of everything that most days I feel as though I'm literally losing my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to do it for him, it's my job to do it, afterall I'm his daughter. He took care of me, now it's my turn to take care of him.

It seems just when I get hopeful he has a setback. Last night was the scariest night I think I've ever had. But I'm glad we were at the hospital when it happened and I'm glad the boys didn't come with us. It was like watching one of those hospital TV shows...I ran to get the nurse because he wasn't right...she ended up calling the rapid response team. A group of 9 doctors and nurses appeared from nowhere, spilled into the room and went to work so quickly it was surreal. And all I could think about while watching the doctors was that he and I just sat and argued about him not wanting to eat broccoli. God d*mn broccoli.

He had no idea what had happened and in his usual ornery way, after things settled down and he was good again, said to me, 'they don't do anything to me all day then decide to do all this s*it at night'...he had no idea.

He was moved to the Intensive Care Unit that night. Now I can't go anywhere without my cell phone...not even to the bathroom. And everytime it rings my heart catches in my throat.

I'm so tired...but I know he's 100 times more tired than I am...and I think it might be awhile before I spend any time in my studio.

5 comments:

Jessica at Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! said...

Your struggle, your weariness, your snapping at his not eating broccoli are all proof of your love for him. I believe that your dad is in good hands; that is, God's hands. I will pray for God's peace in your heart.

Mary Ellen said...

Love is so many things- and sickness brings much love and drains us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Take care of yourself- praying for you Dad and for you to feel God's love and comfort- and rest in your life during this time.

jilly said...

Ugh. I am so sorry to hear this. Hang in there, you are a wonderful daughter and he is so lucky to have you. Hang in there, better days to come.

Auntie Cake said...

So sorry to hear about everything. I pray your dad gets well very quickly, and that you have the strength and wisdom to get done what needs to be done. I have never had to be in your position, I can't imagine how difficult it must be. And how incredibly stressful! Make sure you and your cell phone get in a nap or two! Take care,
Kate

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